“One must never lose time in vainly
regretting the past or in complaining against the changes which cause
us discomfort, for change is the essence of life.”
– Anatole France
I terribly miss filling nonsense here in this blog. For months, numerous changes had occured.  For one, I am now back here in my hometown (city?). I, being already attuned to living alone in QC, had to gingerly adjust to some circumstances that were a given if you chose to go live again in your parent’s house. No.. I am not about to complain. But some things indeed are discomforting.

It’s just me actually. The asshole that I am is once again magnified as I seem to antagonize everyone here. Like… “Arrrghh! Where’s my breakfast?”,  “Whaaat?! You’re waking me up because you don’t have 200 bucks for the massage?” I am not about to delve into details to cannibalize the lives of other people I terrorize each day here. Am I twisted that I actually enjoy seeing the look in their faces when I do that?

Another that is weird is when I walk to the convenience store nearby. For so many years, I haven’t trudged this same street I walked through going to and fro my school. It’s like entering a time warp when you remember things you thought you’ve already forgotten. Surprisingly, it is not the memories that disturb me. It is the “Hey, what the heck are you doing back here?” thing that nags me. And then, rationalize, rationalize… I just don’t know how long could I keep on doing that to remain mentally sound.

It might just be the “pulse of the mundane” that grips me in my current maladjustments to change. These thoughts cannot be excised from the time in which it occured. I think change
can only be grasped only in time, by a consciousness whose apprehension is
structured by the current mindset. Who am I to complain anyway? I chose to be here. Circumstances will probably change again and I could only hope it will be less discomforting.