Taurus(APR19-MAY19): You are practical and persistent. You have a
dogged determination and stick-to-it-ivness because you never do
anything right the first time. Most people think you are stubborn and
bull-headed. You are nothing but a fucking asshole.

I came upon this horoscope list while surfing. I have
surrendered to think that most of it is ironically true. As for the other
zodiac signs, I could never compose myself from laughing by thinking of people
I know who fall under it. Here’s for the rest of the zodiac signs and remember,
denial is always the worst way to confront the things that is real. Read on…

Gemini (MAY20-JUN20):  You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People
like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much
for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Gemini’s are
notorius for thriving on incest.

Cancer (JUN21-JUL21): You are sympathetic and understanding to other
people’s problems, which makes you a sucker. You always keep putting
things off. This is why you will always be on welfare and won’t be
worth a shit. Everybody in prison is a Cancer.

Leo (JUL22-AUG22): You consider yourself a born leader. Everyone thinks
you are an idiot. Most Leo’s are bullies. You are vain and cannot
tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo’s are
thieving mother-fuckers and enjoy masturbating more than sex.

Virgo (AUG23-SEP21): You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your
shit-picking attitude is sickening to your co-workers.You are cold and
unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. Virgo’s make good bus
drivers and pimps.

Libra (SEP21-OCT22): You are the artistic type and have a difficult time
with with reality. If you are male, you are probably QUEER. Chances for
employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All
Libra’s die of venereal disease.

Scorpio (OCT23-NOV21): The worst of the lot!!!! You are shrewd in
business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of
success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect
son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpio’s are MURDERED.

Sagittarius (NOV22-DEC20): You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have
a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The
majority of Sagittarius’s are drunks. Nixon was a Sagittarius. You are
indeed a worthless piece of shit.

Capricorn (DEC21-JAN20): You are conservative and are afraid of taking
risks. You are basically a chicken-shit. There has never been a
Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.

Aquarius (JAN 21-FEB19): You have an inventive mind and are inclined to
be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes
repeatably because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking
jerk. You enjoy sucking cock.

Pisces (FEB20-MAR19): You have vivid imagination and often think you are
being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have a minor influence on your
friends and people resent you for flaunting what you mistake as power.
You lack confidence and are a general dipstick.

Aries (MAR20-APR18): You are a pioneer type and think most people are
dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient and scornful of
advice. You do nothing but piss off everyone you come into contact
with. You are a prick!!